Last year I was quietly admiring the quilts at our guild's quilt show. I overheard two women (obviously not quilters) as they discussed a nearby quilt. They were reading the information sheet which stated how the quilt was quilted...by hand, by machine, or by longarm. I almost giggled out loud when one of them exclaimed, "Wow, it must be a competitive advantage to have long arms when you're a quilter!"

Oh it is. I have a wonderful friend named Gamill and I love her long arm.

That made me giggle...I suppose one has to be q quilter to find this one funny....

A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase ungodly amounts.

When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the fabric) cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome ( similar to the ones squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food) therefore perpetuating their species, and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. Sound tests have also revealed that these fabrics emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few of breed of women known as customers.

When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants "Buy me" "Cut me" "Sew me"! In order to overcome the so-called feeding frenzy effect that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh however, at the sight of customers in a fabric store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones !)

Studies have also indicated that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. They are called fabric store clerks. It's also been my experience that these same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret these fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash) and when asked by a significant other if the fabric is new, the reply is "I've had it for a while"

(Originally published in August 1997 in the Western North Carolina Quilters Guild Newsletter)

They must send the same fabric to our shops in Australia................and the same clerks too!

I knew there had to be a logical reason why I can't resist fabric in a quilt shop! LOL!!

I wonder if they apply that to yarn as well that whould explain alot!

I don't think it should be called "fabric hoarding" since we're just feathering our nests, so to say. Personally, I would rather say that we are just stocking up to be prepared for the long cold winters ahead as well as for the long hot summers when it's waaaaaay too hot and humid to be outdoors. Quilting (and knitting/crocheting/x-stitching) helps us to stay out of trouble and be creative AND it keeps our minds nimble...not to mention the fact that it keeps Arthur away (hey, gals, it's exercise, isn't it???). And yes, I think it does apply to yarn.

Jackie

Who can resist a lovely piece of fabric? Not me. It used to be just my favorite quilt shop, but now there is the whole wide web and access to every shop. That's not hoarding, that is anticipating a new quilt before you think of what it is going to be.

My problem if I buy to much when I finally get to a pattern I want to do I don't have the fabric I really want for it,,,but living in a 5th wheel I can't really store to much,,,,,,