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QUILTERS WILL
Being of sound mind and body(a statement that does not bear close scrutiny).I (your name) do hereby record my Last Will and Testament.
Knowing that my Family have no apperication, or for that matter, knowledge of my extensive fabric collection,which, by the way, is deposited in various places throughout the house for safekeeping.
Knowing also that my Children has notified the goodwill store should I precede him to that Great Quilt Shop in the Sky, to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection.
Therefore I do WILL this collection and all other collections related to it, to my Dear Fellow Preservationists (whoever you choose).
It is my wish that she, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear clear proof that I did not manage (although goodness knows how I tried) to take it with me, will come to my home, before the goodwill store searches out my collection.
That she should rescue Said collection and stack it in my sewing room, along with my sewing machines, old buttons,patterns, quilts, dools and works in progress - and after ahe has done that, she should purchase refreshments for all my quilting friends not yet departed - which friends are also her friends, and every last oneshall be in that room and hols a Wake and say lots of lovely and kind things about me until they run out and then they shall divide amongst themselves - My Wonderful Collection.
Be forewarned !! I shall be hovering over the very spot until this is done.(This my friend) and my quilitngfriends shall then leave this spot and close the door,leaving the car ,house,stocks & bonds and other worldly nonsense to those who don't understand or know any better. This is my wish on the matter.